In the intricate tapestry of military life, the term “resilience” stands out as a beacon, often celebrated as the hallmark of those who serve and their loved ones. But as Megan Brown insightfully points out in her article “Confession: I’m Not Resilient, I’m Just Resentful,” this term, while commonly used, doesn’t always capture the full spectrum of emotions and experiences of military families. Amidst this backdrop, the importance of suicide prevention becomes paramount.
This resilience, a testament to their strength and determination, is frequently hailed in ceremonies, speeches, and commendations. However, when resilience is tested repeatedly, what remains?
My family has grappled with the challenges of suicide prevention for nearly a decade, witnessing my husband’s hospitalization for suicidal ideations on seven distinct occasions. The profound impact of these episodes on our collective mental well-being cannot be understated.
It’s imperative to illuminate the unseen scars and the silent battles that ensue.
A Decade of Crisis: The Heavy Weight of Constant Resilience
For almost ten years, my husband’s tumultuous journey with mental health has been a constant shadow over our lives. Those seven hospitalizations, each a chilling reminder of the fragility of the human psyche, underscore the fact that military families often grapple with challenges that transcend the traditional understanding of resilience.
In the realm of suicide prevention, the notion of simply “bouncing back” seems almost trivial when juxtaposed with the intricate web of emotional, psychological, and physical challenges we’ve faced.
In the specialized domain of military suicide prevention, there’s a predominant emphasis on halting the act of suicide. This is, of course, of paramount importance. However, a subsequent chapter often remains untold: the emotional and psychological aftermath for the service member and their loved ones. Each episode, each crisis, leaves an indelible mark, creating wounds that, while invisible, are profoundly deep and lasting.
The Fallout: PTSD and the Silent Struggle Within
Being a caregiver in this context is akin to walking on a tightrope, balancing between hope and despair.
This role, one I never envisioned for myself, requires an emotional fortitude that’s almost superhuman. The immense responsibility of suicide prevention, of preventing a loved one from taking their own life, coupled with the daily challenges of military life, has significantly impacted my mental equilibrium.
This extended period of emotional turbulence has culminated in a diagnosis I never saw coming for myself: post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The repeated trauma of witnessing my husband’s battles and the overwhelming responsibility of being his primary support system has reshaped my mental landscape.
It serves as a poignant reminder that the ripple effects of suicide prevention can reverberate long after the immediate danger has passed.
The Missing Piece: The Imperative for Post-Crisis Support
A significant oversight in many suicide prevention initiatives is the absence of holistic post-crisis support. After a suicide attempt is averted, there’s often an outpouring of relief, but a void follows.
For families like ours, navigating the emotional aftermath can be as daunting, if not more so, than the initial crisis.
The Gaps in Suicide Prevention Training: Lessons from Experience
Suicide prevention training has become a fundamental aspect of military life. It equips families and service members with tools to identify and help those in crisis.
However, these trainings have their limitations. They often focus intensely on the act of prevention itself, leaving a critical gap when it comes to post-crisis care.
In one such very recent suicide prevention training I attended, the emphasis was undoubtedly on identifying signs of suicidal ideation and taking action to prevent it. However, when I inquired about the support provided to families and service members if a suicide attempt was prevented, the answers were dishearteningly vague. There seemed to be no structured system for comprehensive post-crisis care, leaving families like mine to navigate the aftermath alone.
Moving Forward: Paving the Way for Holistic Change
Our lived experiences have crystallized the need for a more encompassing approach to suicide prevention and support, especially within the military community. Beyond the immediate act of prevention, there’s a dire need for:
- Post-Crisis Care: Tailored support mechanisms for families and service members in the wake of a suicide attempt.
- Comprehensive Mental Health Services: Ensuring that both veterans and their families have unhindered access to sustained mental health care.
- Education and Training: Empowering families with the requisite tools, resources, and knowledge to navigate mental health challenges effectively.
- Peer Support Networks: Establishing robust peer support systems within military communities, fostering a sense of camaraderie and mutual understanding.
- Reducing Stigma: Championing open dialogues about mental health, thereby dismantling the barriers and stigma associated with seeking assistance.
Post-Crisis Care Resources
Although I can’t help every caregiver define the best resources for themselves – I can share what I have learned that has helped me most recently.
1) National Suicide and Crisis Hotline (988)
If you or someone you know is in immediate crisis or experiencing thoughts of suicide, please call 988. This national hotline provides round-the-clock support and access to trained professionals who can help.
2) Local Women’s Domestic Violence (DV) Shelters
- City-Level DV Shelters
- County-Level DV Shelters
In situations where family members experience behavior that can be classified as domestic abuse, especially when it occurs only in their presence, reaching out to local DV shelters is often the most effective course of action. These shelters offer safe havens, support, and resources to individuals and families facing domestic violence or abuse.
For information on city-level and county-level domestic violence shelters, you can either conduct an internet search for local shelters in your area or utilize resources like https://www.domesticshelters.org/help to find a shelter near you.
3) Therapy and Mental Health Support
- Therapy via Shelter: If you’ve sought refuge in a women’s DV shelter, inquire about therapy services available on-site or through their network of professionals. Many shelters offer counseling and mental health support as part of their services.
- Insurance Network Provider: Contact your insurance provider for a list of in-network mental health professionals. This can be a crucial step in accessing therapy if you have insurance coverage.
- Online Therapy Platforms: Explore online therapy options if you prefer remote counseling. Platforms like BetterHelp, Talkspace, and others offer access to licensed therapists from the comfort of your home.
- Local Mental Health Clinics: Research mental health clinics in your area that provide therapy and support services. They may offer sliding scale fees or other options for those in need.
4) Legal Resources
- Legal Aid Through Shelters: Many women’s DV shelters offer access to legal aid and support. They can connect you with professionals who specialize in family law and domestic violence cases.
- Local Legal Aid Organizations: Look for local legal aid organizations that provide free or low-cost legal services to individuals facing domestic violence or other legal challenges.
- Attorneys Specializing in Family Law: Consult with attorneys who specialize in family law. They can provide guidance on matters such as restraining orders, custody arrangements, and divorce proceedings.
5) Community and Support Groups
Engaging with support groups, either in-person or online, can provide valuable connections with others who have faced similar challenges. Look for local support groups related to domestic violence, caregiver support, and mental health.
Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and there are resources available to support you through difficult times. Reach out to these organizations and professionals for the assistance you or your loved ones may need.
Our odyssey through a decade marked by recurring crises has starkly highlighted the gaps in the prevailing approach to suicide prevention and post-crisis care. It underscores the genuine emotional burden shouldered by military families. As we move forward, it’s imperative to prioritize holistic care and sustained support. By sharing our narrative, we aspire to amplify awareness and champion change with the sincere hope that no military family feels isolated in their battle against the invisible wounds of suicide prevention.
To explore more about the critical topics of military caregiver anxiety coping techniques and the unseen impact of service-related injuries on families, visit the following insightful articles:
- Military Caregiver Anxiety Coping Techniques
- Service-Related Injuries: The Unseen Impact on Families
How You Can Help
In moving forward, I am determined to collaborate with fellow caregivers to create the programming and support systems we so desperately need. By sharing these initiatives with organizations and programs we influence and partner with, we can pave the way for comprehensive change.
I will continue to tell our story and advocate for better post-crisis care in the realm of military suicide prevention.
To join us in this mission, please consider joining our mailing list to stay informed and supporting our cause through purchases from our store, which directly funds these crucial efforts.
Together, we can illuminate the path toward healing and support for military families dealing with the invisible wounds of suicide prevention.
